I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
