We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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