Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
