he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
