You're my little dorito
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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