did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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