dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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