Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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