Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
