I'm going to jail i love you
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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