I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
