You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
