My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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