That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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