sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize