I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
