Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
