But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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