I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize