Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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