im six kinds of drunk right now
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
