so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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