I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Someone signed my nipple.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
