I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
