Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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