apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
