Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize