I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
