Are we in a gay sports bar?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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