I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
