He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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