Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We had to coat check the pizza.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
