I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
