I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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