We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
