I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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