speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
