if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
