sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
