He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My cat gives me a boner
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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