he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
