Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
