Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
