During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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