brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
