Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
