Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
