Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
