At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
