I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
