Michael Bay diarrhea
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
