I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
