How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
