there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
