dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
