3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
