Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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