There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
