If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
