So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
