I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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