Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i wish my penis had a tongue
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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