i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
