Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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