I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
