I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
