Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
