Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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