I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
This house was built for laser tag.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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